Before diving into the ongoing maelstrom of Iran peace talks, Jon Stewart spent several minutes of his opening Daily Show monologue to address President Donald Trump‘s fast-tracking of access to psychedelic drug treatments.
Ahead of the weekend, the POTUS signed an executive order loosening restrictions for substances like ibogaine, which veterans groups have indicated helps treat symptoms of PTSD. While doing so, Trump joked if he could also have access to the treatment.
“He’s depressed, too! Hey, don’t be depressed, sir,” Stewart quipped. “Trump won’t be president forever.”
He continued, “But I have to say, there are little moments in these Oval Office gatherings that are somewhat revelatory of the president’s psyche and, really, a good starting place for any accredited mental health professional.”
Stewart then played a clip of Trump’s further comments, during which he stated he doesn’t have time to be depressed.
“You can’t get depressed if you stay busy! It’s a little thing called outrunning the darkness. You can’t be depressed if the sadness can’t catch you,” the late-night host said. “And to be frank, I don’t think Donald Trump should treat that with hallucinogenics anyway. But if he did, would we even notice? If he took hallucinogenics, he’d be like: ‘They’re eating the cats and dogs right near my beautiful ballroom. By the way, did you know I’m Jesus?’”
Eventually, Stewart pivoted to addressing Iran, including one social media post following failed negotiations in which Trump promised that there would be “no more Mr. Nice Guy.” Stewart, doing an impression of Spanish ventriloquist Señor Wences, mocked: “Say hello to Señor War Crimes,” before fashioning his hand into the puppet Pedro and saying his catchphrase — “S’awright.”
“How did the certainty of total resolution morph into the uncertainty of total annihilation that Trump announced in less time than it took Karol G to own Coachella?” he continued, before turning to face the camera as the sound team cued a guitar riff and a graphic “COOL DAD” flashed on screen. “Hey, who wants an edible?” he said, noting the 4/20 celebration. As audiences laughed, he clarified: “Multivitamin, an edible multivitamin.”
The majority of Stewart’s monologue involved a prop — a checkerboard with chess on one side and checker on the other — as he derided Trump’s circuitous deal-making efforts.
“Step 4, The Art of the Deal: Just say [the Strait of Hormuz is] open,” Stewart noted. “Who’s gonna check? Honestly, who’s going to actually check if it’s open? Even if you have a boat, what are you going to do? You’re gonna drive all the way there?”
Commenting on the subsequent U.S. blockade, Stewart entered the step called “do the thing to yourself you don’t want them to do to you.” He continued, “Ooh-hoo-hoo, hit them with the old razzle dazzle: ‘You can’t break up with me, I’m breaking up with you!’ Now, at this point, haters might assume you’ve been winging it the whole time, and they might be getting hungry, or much poorer, or cold.”
He summarized, “So that’s where we’ve arrived at with The Art of the Deal — basically, it’s a cycle. It’s a cycle of demands and threats and premature declarations of victory that allows the negotiator enough wiggle room to, at almost any point, claim that they’ve achieved exactly what they’ve set out to do, ultimately achieving a nuclear deal that will probably be worse than the nuclear deal Trump pulled our country out of with Iran to start a devastating war that has killed thousands of innocent Iranians, 13 American soldiers, eroded our credibility as the leader of the free world, sabotaged the world economy and will cost the American taxpayers, who knows, maybe trillions.”
Stewart concluded, “And as that realizations sinks in to a population weary of your malignant narcissism and impulsivity, Trump hits ’em with Step 10,” cuing up a video in which the GOP leader promised “Cuba’s gonna be next.”
“Keep moving to outrun the darkness,” Stewart said, as the segment finished.
