bitchy | Boris Johnson: Prince Harry & Meghan should come back to the UK, all is forgiven!

In 2024, Boris Johnson’s memoir was published, almost exactly two years after he was shoved out of Downing Street. The memoir was mostly about his time as prime minister and the many scandals he dealt with, oversaw and took part in. Hilariously, one of the biggest stories to come out of that book was BoJo talking about trying to convince Prince Harry to stay in the UK. This conversation happened in January 2020, just days after the Sandringham Summit, when Harry was undertaking a few events and Meghan had already flown back to Canada. To his credit (and I can’t believe I’m saying that), Boris actually made a point of saying that Harry AND Meghan should stay in the UK and that they’re BOTH national assets. Even more notable, Boris went on Camilla Tominey’s GB News show to shill his book and she asked him about the Sussexes, and he went on and on about how Harry and Meghan are amazing and that people really loved them. Tominey looked like she was going to cry. BoJo just blatantly refused to pay “the Sussex tax” demanded by the British media. Well, Boris is at it again, this time with a Daily Mail column. His message? Harry and Meghan should come back to the UK, all is forgiven! An excerpt:

‘I say, Harry’, I said, or words to that effect, and I fixed the gingery young prince with what I hoped was a look of manly frankness. It must have been just over six years ago, right at the beginning of 2020 – just before Covid was really freaking us all out. Prince Harry was the star turn at a highly successful Docklands summit on UK-Africa investment and I had decided – with what now feels like epic pomposity – to give him a pep talk.

I had heard or read that he and his beautiful wife Meghan Markle were about to leave the country. They were off somewhere warmer, more congenial, possibly the USA; and you know what, I felt it would be a loss. I had worked with both of them, seen them in action. When I was Mayor of London, I’d seen Harry do an excellent job of leading the Invictus Games, a sporting competition for disabled veterans. When I was Foreign Secretary they came to an event on female education and Meghan struck me as especially ­passionate and well briefed.

I noticed how much zing they seemed to add, how people’s eyes lit up when they came into the room. I had vaguely concluded that Harry and Meghan were a national asset, and I decided to see if I could talk him out of leaving.

So some time in the middle of the morning, our officials cleared a meeting room. We were standing eyeball to eyeball. As I say, I felt that I could speak to him in an avuncular sort of way, as if offering career advice. I think one of my brothers was briefly in the same class at school. So I cleared my throat and had a bash.

…I may have delivered Brexit, but I couldn’t avert Megxit. I am reminded of all this, because I saw a brilliant piece in yesterday’s paper by Jan Moir, in which she mentioned that after six years in Montecito, California, things are not going quite as swimmingly as they were. She said that Netflix has stopped making so many documentaries about Meghan, for instance; and the general impression was that there were at least some in America who felt, on the whole, that the Harry and Meghan show had delighted the nation long enough.

Well, I have no idea about the intricacies of their many charitable ventures, or about their finances, but since I have a huge regard for Jan Moir I am inclined to believe there must be something in what she says. In which case my message is simple: Come back, the pair of you!

Come back to Britain, with your heads held high. I don’t care what anyone else says, it looks to me as if your American sojourn has been a triumphant success. According to one report, Meghan has managed to sell not far short of a million pots of jam, retailing at $42 (£31) for a fruit spread box. That is astonishing….

It’s why Harry was right back then to ignore me, and why they were right to go to America. That’s why there are so many former UK PMs stacked in a holding pattern over New York or Chicago, waiting for clearance to give keynote speeches to vast conferences of cardiologists and gastro-enterologists. That’s why so many talented Brits go to America, from Charles Dickens and PG Wodehouse to Gordon Ramsay and Harry Styles. I am firmly with WH Auden, who concludes a funny poem about giving speeches in America with the stanza: God bless the lot of them, although I don’t remember which was which. God bless the USA, so large, so friendly and so rich.

…There is no disgrace in going to America, giving it your best shot, and then jacking it in…. If Harry and Meghan come back, they would of course have to smooth things over with the rest of the family – but that is surely not impossible. Their return would be an important signal – in grim times – of confidence in this country.

You once did a great job, when you were allowed to. You can do it again. Come back, Harry and Meghan – all is forgiven!

[From The Daily Mail]

Once again, I can’t believe I’m saying this, I really do give him credit for consistently talking about how Meghan was/is an asset, how she was great at royal work, how she’s a clever American who did great things in the UK and could do great things again. Do you know how few British people admit that? Do you know how few say that outloud? What I find most interesting is that between a Tory like Boris and Britain’s current Labour government, it seems like the Sussexes are not a partisan issue – both sides of the political spectrum wish the Sussexes would come back. Now, I know the ultra-right wing psychos in the UK don’t want the Sussexes, I’m not saying they’re beloved by all political factions. But Harry and Meghan seemingly have broad support in the Tory and Labour political classes, and I find that fascinating. It’s one of the many things making Prince William so paranoid too – he keeps loudly dreaming about all of the Sussex-punishments he’ll enact when he’s king, and he doesn’t want to acknowledge that the Tory or Labour government would be mostly opposed to those punishments.

Photos courtesy of Avalon Red.