Ashley Judd has thrown a birthday party for her “inner 12 year old”.
Ashley Judd throws birthday party for her ‘inner 12 year old’ after growing up with ‘unmet needs’
The Heat actress saw in her 58th birthday last month, and the star has told how her big day was also a celebration for her younger self after she grew up with “unmet needs”.
She wrote on Instagram: “On my 58th birthday,
my inner 12-year-old was ready to receive love, care, attunement, delight, protection, and provision.
(Check out my April 2025 post about my inner nine-year-old’s field day birthday party!)
Have you ever considered, from your adult perspective, restaging for your sweet inner child an experience she either never had at all?
Or an experience that did not unfold with the safety and attention it should have?
I deeply enjoy doing this from a loving inner-parent perspective for my inner family.
Many of us grew up with unmet needs.
Today, as adults, we can listen carefully to those missings, identify what happened that should not have happened – and, crucially, what did not happen that should have happened – supplying that, now, with love and humor to ourselves. (sic)”
Ashley doesn’t remember “any” of her birthdays as a child, so she “restaged” her 12th birthday party last month to “backfill what was always missing and no longer is thanks to vulnerable imagination”.
She added: “I don’t remember any of my birthdays growing up.
“I do remember loving some elements of Mrs. Minor’s 6th grade class at Grassland Elementary in 1979: science, geology, dinosaurs with their hilarious tiny arms and giant mouths eating leaves from treetops, learning the difference between stalactites and stalagmites, and discovering a cute trick for remembering the difference between convex and concave.
I also loved the 6 weeks(!) of square dancing in PE!
Didn’t you want to come home and wiggle, squirm, and show off your jig? I did.
But at home?
There was no parent (or adult) supporting, nurturing, guiding and reinforcing my learning, delighting in, or protecting that little girl.
This past weekend, alongside sensitive, playful people who also relish carefree timelessness, we restaged my 12th birthday party.
We backfilled what was always missing and no longer is, thanks to vulnerable imagination.
We laughed, frolicked, square danced, took a Scopes Monkey Trial True or False quiz (including quite a bit Mrs. Minor did not cover in 1979), and ate a dream cake any 12-year-old would adore.
We also anonymously wrote down 6th grade shames, placing them in a safe jar where others could read them with empathy (and maybe even a little 12-year-old problem solving).. Shame reduction! Who knew others were also awkward and scared at times. (sic)”
Last year, Ashley threw a party for her inner nine year old, as she celebrated her 57th birthday.
Part of her Instagram post about her birthday read at the time: “I gave my vivacious Inner Teenager a dance party this weekend in my garden – Chosen Family + Friends brought their “Inner Teens,” too!
“As you know, I’ve been going inside myself to become my own Inner Loving Parent to supply myself with the nurturing, gentleness, guidance, support, love, + respect I very much needed growing up (that all we do!).
“As a teen (+ even 9 year old) I was left alone for months (+ lived alone in 10th and 11th grades) with no adults or caregiver in my homes. My teen endured so many grave boundary violations.
“Today, it is an honor, right, + holy daily practice to guide, support, listen to, + be here for my Inner Teen as she heals. I “de-parentify” her + relieve her of all those responsibilities that never should have been hers as an adolescent.
“(My family loved me very much – it was just a system that didn’t work very well, + that is another conversation.) (sic)”
