bitchy | Tatler commissioned a portrait of King Charles & Camilla for their cover: thoughts?

The latest Tatler cover features yet another “commissioned” royal painting. Tatler did this last year, commissioning a painting of the (then incognito) Princess of Wales where “the Kate portrait” looked nothing like the actual woman. The Kate portrait/cover received widespread mockery… by British commentators and art critics. It’s the same with this new Tatler cover, based on a 2024 photograph of King Charles and Queen Camilla. I honestly think artist Phillip Butah adequately captured Camilla, but he mangled the f–k out of Charles. Art critics are not happy:

A new portrait of the King and Queen has been branded reminiscent of a snarling “two-headed monster”. The portrait, unveiled by Tatler magazine on the June cover to mark the couple’s 20th wedding anniversary, was painted by the monarch’s tour artist Phillip Butah.

Mr Butah, who was invited to accompany Their Majesties on their state visit to Kenya in 2023, based the portrait on an image captured by royal photographer Millie Pilkington in the garden of Buckingham Palace last year. However, art critics have described the work as “flat,” “uninspiring” and lacking in psychological animation.

Alastair Sooke, The Telegraph’s Chief Art Critic, said: “It makes the King very much look like his father and the smile looks defiant, almost slightly like a snarl, rather than a kindly, welcoming smile… It’s very noticeable that you can’t see his left arm and hand or her right arm or hand, so what’s nice about it and sweet is that they’re really a marital unit and really joined at the hip. It’s almost like their bodies are fused, but it’s slightly ungainly from a positional point as it also could look a little like a two-headed monster, but if you’re being sweet it certainly depicts their codependence or certainly his reliance on her.”

[From The Telegraph]

Royalists are always like “the Windsors are perfect, they never put a foot wrong” and then once a year, art critics are like “the Windsors are portrayed as they actually are: snarling, blood-soaked monsters.” Jeez. As for the Tatler cover story, it was written by Robert Hardman, who is Charles’s almost-official biographer. Hardman’s piece is mostly fluff and historical revision (if not outright lies), but there were some new quotes in it:

Camilla & Charles fight over lunch: The couple also part company over lunch. He regards it as a superfluous combination of time-wasting and gluttony, while she is the proud patron of the charity The Big Lunch. However, since his cancer diagnosis, she has managed to get him to consume something in the middle of the day – ‘even if it is not what you or I would call lunch’, adds one of his team.

Princess Anne on Camilla & Charles: ‘Her understanding of her role and how much difference it makes to the King has been absolutely outstanding,’ the Princess Royal told me. She added that she was in ‘no doubt that made the difference for him’ as he took charge. ‘I’m sure lots of people do say to her what a difference she’s made, but that is really true. I’ve known her a long time off and on, and I think she’s been incredibly generous and understanding.’

Camilla’s sister on the couple: Annabel Elliot still finds it impossible to curtsey to her elder sister but nonetheless is still amazed by the way she has taken to her role. ‘Obviously for him, it was always going to be,’ Annabel told me. ‘But I think she’s transitioned beautifully, actually. I mean, I sometimes look at her and I can’t really believe it.’

Separate boltholes: The couple still have their separate boltholes. On weekends, the King might retreat to his beloved garden at Highgrove (or, increasingly, to Windsor, where he is now the Ranger of the Great Park). Queen Camilla will decamp to Ray Mill, the Wiltshire home she has had since the end of her first marriage. ‘It’s the one place where she can put her feet up on the Aga, the grandchildren can run riot and she doesn’t have to worry they’ll break some priceless work of art,’ says a good friend. Her children, Tom and Laura, are regulars with their young families. No one says ‘Ma’am’, let alone ‘Your Majesty’. As Annabel points out: ‘She’s “Ga-Ga” and I’m called “Guy-Guy” – a pair of mad old women. The children think it’s hilarious.’

Camilla refuses to budge from Clarence House: ‘She has made it abundantly clear she has no wish to move into Buckingham Palace when the refurbishment is done,’ whispers one of the team. She has also made it clear to her small and fiercely loyal private office that it is a priority to maximise her public work now, fully conscious that itineraries will inevitably have to wind down when she is in her eighties.

[From Tatler]

“Inevitably have to wind down when she is in her eighties…” Camilla turns 78 years old this summer. Is this Camilla’s soft-launch of “you’re only getting me to do events for two more years?” I find Anne’s comments to be the most notable here – Anne and Charles have such affection for each other, and I’d always assumed that Anne found Camilla to be a “necessary evil” when it comes to keeping Charles on track. I’m surprised that Anne is such a full-throated supporter though.

Photos courtesy of Cover Images, Buckingham Palace. Cover courtesy of Tatler.