In praise of Queen Camilla’s beady eyes, wrinkles & frumpy fashion!

It’s certainly interesting that there’s a concerted effort to push a “thank god for Queen Camilla” narrative this week. It’s coming across like Camilla is begging for validation and praise, like her office is commissioning her press allies to write about how “well” she performed during the US state visit. As I said yesterday, “the hyperventilating praise of Camilla comes across as something else entirely – neediness, desperation, ‘please clap.’” Well, the Telegraph’s Rowan Pelling wrote a whole-ass column in praise of Camilla’s beady eyes, wrinkles and ability to soothe her man-baby husband’s temper tantrums. I’m not even joking. Pelling calls her the “unsung hero” of the state visit. Girl…

Beady eyes: There’s a particular way British shires’ women of a certain age and type walk when performing the day’s duties. Their shoulders are squared and tensed, as if approaching a fence while out hunting; their heads are tilted forward, with legs slightly stiff but purposeful. Their beady eyes are constantly scanning for rabbits in the lettuce patch, an unruly terrier or a farmer’s absconded sheep. My mother-in-law was of this magnificent ilk and so, I observed, is Queen Camilla as I watched her walk across the White House lawn with Melania Trump. They dutifully trod a couple of footsteps behind their menfolk, both dressed like mother-of-the-bride at a stiflingly formal wedding, condemned to the largely silent role of consort.

Camilla never wanted to be queen, remember! Melania, you trust, will one day spring free from the gilded cage of being First Lady. No such salvation awaits Camilla, who is trapped in ermine-lined fetters for life when it’s clear she’d much rather be taking a brisk stroll through bluebell woods, or curled up with a novel. But we should all be grateful she chose love after the Waleses’ ill-fated marriage ended (not to minimise her role in that heartbreak, but there’s surely some statute of limitations on very human failings), because it’s clear that behind King Charles III’s ease, bonhomie and skilled diplomacy there’s one woman working hard to keep him happy.

Camilla soothes Charles’ tantrums: It’s hardly a secret within Buckingham Palace that Camilla has a unique ability to transform a sometimes tricky, petulant man (remember the leaking ink-pen incident at Hillsborough Castle: “I can’t bear this bloody thing… what they do every stinking time”) into a calmer, better-regulated one. When you watch a good-humoured, funny, sage Charles III charm the cynics of Washington, you can be sure his consort is quietly working overtime behind the scenes to ensure he has the exact conditions (organic food, vitamins, sleep, moments for quiet reflection and private jokes) to put his best Windsor foot forward. A score of aides and diplomats helped the King hone his splendid speech to Congress, but only one person gave him the emotional security to deliver it like a properly contented, balanced human being.

The price of not being a fashionista: But there’s a price to be paid for travelling that distinct step behind your spouse. The very least of it is becoming discussed as a clothes horse, rather than a witty, well-read woman. Suddenly, the only thing that matters is which designer you’re wearing and the subtle messages semaphored by your brooch.

Camilla’s wrinkles: Added to all this, whenever I saw Camilla standing or sitting next to Melania, whose marble-smooth, Sphynx-like beauty speaks of the aesthetic practitioner’s skilled hand, I was proud that our 78-year-old Queen looked stylish, glowing but lined. Especially in that cerise gown for the state banquet, adorned by that huge diamond-and-amethyst necklace. Every wrinkle speaks of a joy-filled past, filled with ciggies, sex and champagne. Those of us who regard ourselves as the King’s loyal subjects, Cavaliers not Roundheads, would not have it any other way.

[From The Telegraph]

My one compliment to Camilla is that I also like her wrinkles. She’s a woman in her 70s and she looks like it and that’s a good thing. What’s crazy is that I do think Camilla has had some cosmetic procedures, but she didn’t go overboard and that’s also a good thing. As for her beady eyes… LMAO!!! The argument that Camilla never wanted to be queen and/or that Camilla would prefer to be trotting around the English countryside… well, it’s interesting. Camilla’s goals, back in the 1980s and ‘90s, were to ruin Charles’ marriage and destroy Diana. After Diana’s death, Camilla absolutely wanted to be queen. She campaigned for it, privately and publicly. She made alliances with the dregs of the British press. She’s spent decades commissioning these needy, pro-Camilla pieces. And even with all of that, even with all of the emotional-support polls, no one really gives a sh-t. She’s not loved or supported or respected, really.

Photos courtesy of Avalon Red, Cover Images.